I am a dance studio owner and everyone thinks they know what I want for Christmas, like a new dishwasher and ironing board, or a new 57" flat screen TV for my husband's man cave, and I am not really sure how they came up with these ideas. I don’t ask for much, ever. In fact I usually don’t ask for anything, but this Christmas, if you could just give me ONE of these things I will hug my children, kiss my husband, clean my house will and never, ever post on Facebook. Ever. Again.
1) First, dear Santa, can you please implore all moms to keep their sick children home so that the flu doesn’t spread like a virus throughout my entire studio right before our first competition causing my entire team to spend the weekend in bed (oh wait, the flu IS a virus, isn’t it?)
2) Get my ballet dancers to wear their tights. And the rest of my students to wear the correct attire. All the time. Without my nagging. I am not sure why, since I post it on my website, my Facebook page and my printed handouts, but for some reason, our dancers like to come dressed like this.
Is it possible that English isn’t being taught in our schools anymore? I know that text speak is big, so maybe this is the issue. TKS 2U IF U MK DIS WRK.
3) Can parents please read closing notices? Again, I believe this might be an issue of either language barrier, or perhaps, they, like me hate to wear their reading glasses. They are so aging; you know what I mean? So please send all my studio parents a pair of reading classes. I found some really good ones for $1.99 at Walmart.
And if you could attach the note in big letters along with the glasses, I would be forever grateful.:
READ OUR WEBSITE, BULLETIN BOARD, and FACEBOOK PAGE AND HANDOUTS FOR CLOSINGS AND OTHER IMPORTANT EVENTS
4) Oh yes, dear Santa, if you could, please make sure that my faculty shows up on time and with smiles on their faces ready to teach their happy students. Because sometimes it seems, that perhaps my faculty was not taught how to tell time; maybe it’s those digital watches or the fact that their faces are always down in their cell phones that they lose track of time, but maybe this Christmas you can send them reminders in their stocking to please come to class on time oh, and IF they decide to quit and go to my competitor across the street, can they please not do it 2 days before Nutcracker or 1 week before recital?
5) And one last, very small request, teeny, weeny request. Can you pretty please, with sugar on top, get my parents to pay their bills? On time? And happily. I don’t understand why this is, but many parents want their children to dance for free. And of course I would love them to, but I have to pay my instructors, the gas, the rent, and sometimes, even myself. I would be ever so grateful if you could just grant me this one little gift.
May you have a happy and wonderful holiday and please, don't text and fly. There's been lots of accidents this year.